Yellow Bear Journeys

Leading from the Heart

     I needed to do a little more work (a lot less resisting) to hear what the wisdom of my heart was saying to me.

     So, I took a walk to the beach. When I got to the point where I could see the water, my heart started filling with joy. A little closer and God removed the mantel I had placed on my own shoulders. (Mantel is like responsibility, name, etc.) Yeah, whatever.

     I got fairly close to the water and the crow in my path spotted me. It flew to the wall at the edge of the water and turned its head towards me, beckoning me to follow. Not being winged, I followed the path down to the wall. This took me longer than it had taken the crow, but it waited for me. Then it pointed it’s beak sternly down to the sand below it, as if to say, “Get down there!” “I’m going, I’m going.” I said.

     I walked down the steps to the beach. By the time I got to the bottom, the crow was gone, but I knew I needed to walk to where it had pointed. That was about the point the sand turned to loam. Sunk (grounded) in the sand, I looked out at the ocean.

     The ocean said to me, “You no longer need to wear hand me downs and eat left overs. Just because you were born second, doesn’t mean you have to put yourself in second place all the time. The Yellow Bear part of yourself wouldn’t.”

     Yellow Bear said, “No, I’d jump right in.” Then I got a clearer understanding of my default mode of action, which is jumping right in. And, I got a clearer understanding that sometimes when I procrastinate (my backup mode of action), it’s coming from this unholy place of putting myself in second place. (There’s holy procrastination and unholy procrastination I guess.)

     I walked on across the beach, through the loam. Getting more and more grounded and less and less heavy.
     I got to the gravel bar and skipped a few stones, most of them went at least 5 skips. Those that didn’t did other interesting tricks.

     I walked back on the wall above the beach. The crow looked at me, “Now you’ve got it!” and flew away.

     I met neighbors on the way back. We talked for a bit. They wished me a safe flight on my upcoming trip.

     Further, on the way back, a couple of deer caught me attention. The first one said, “Let me show you how it’s done.” The deer proceeded across the road and leapt across the chasm into the yard beyond. The other deer then said, “This is how you do it!” And sprinted across the road, right in front of me and leapt across the chasm into the yard beyond. The first deer then strutted around, holding its head high.

     I said, “Yeah, you’re just showing off.”

     But as I walked, the nagging wouldn’t leave me, that the deer were trying to show me something. Then I realized they were telling me to leap with my heart (dive in heart first). The first deer wasn’t strutting, it was holding its head high. A crow flew to the wire and yelled, “Now you’ve got it! Now you’ve got it!”

     I came home. Got some lunch. While I was eating, I remembered what the neighbors had said, “Have a safe flight” Then I got it, “Take a safe leap of the heart”. Then my glass clinked my bowl, resonating with a chime to bring the point home.