Yellow Bear Journeys
Hi, my name is Yellow Bear.
Hi, my name is Dale. Let me tell you how I became Yellow Bear.
It all started when I was about 30. At the end of a spiritual retreat, one of the elders asked if he could pray a blessing over me. The one thing that stood out in that blessing (to me) above all else, was the statement that I would be called Yellow Bear. That seemed very strange, and very unlikely to me since I had no recollection (at that point) of having had a yellow bear early in my life. See Return to Start.
Over the next ten years, I remembered that statement. But it always seemed strange.
When I was about 40, my wife Terry and I started reading Martha Beck’s Finding your own North Star
. At 20, when everybody else was wondering who they were, I thought I knew. 20 years later I was finally ready to ask myself that question, “Who am I?” “What’s my purpose?” “Why am I here?”. 20 years of having all my pre-made answers stripped away had brought me to a new starting point. So, I made the mistake of asking, “Who am I?” – Never ask a question you don’t want to know the answer to.
Instead of asking myself that question until I got a satisfactory answer, I settled for answers like, “Well I really should do more for the environment and peace.“ That was true. But it didn’t satisfy my need to know “Who am I?” And that question kept pressing me more and more for an answer.
One day, the answer started coming in the form of a vision. In the vision, I saw deer crossing the road - lots of deer. They were headed northwest. I was in Colorado at the time and the thought of going further north (and therefore in my mind Colder - Brrrrr
) was not a thought I was willing to entertain.
That vision was followed by another. This time, I saw Native American scouts who were following the deer (you guessed it) northwest.
I thought this vision was important enough to find out what it was all about. Somehow it seemed to me that the thing to do was to enter the vision. But, how does one enter a vision? Well, since the visions seemed to have a Native American theme, and since Yellow Bear seemed to be a Native American name, I decided to enter the vision as Yellow Bear.
Somehow, I was able to enter the vision. I was Yellow Bear who was following the Native American scouts who were following the deer Northwest. From that vision, I began to learn more about who Yellow Bear was. But I still didn’t equate myself to being Yellow Bear.
I kept learning more and more about Yellow Bear over the next ten years. I learned that Yellow Bear was somehow, some times a part of me. On occassion, I even referred to myself as Yellow Bear, but only hesitatingly. After I eventually moved further Northwest, I attended a class called “Radical Wellness”. The class started innocently enough with introductions. I said “My name is Dale. ...” Then the teacher asked us to introduce ourselves again, this time from our hearts (and I knew he was speaking directly to me). When I gave up and quit resisting, the deep answer from my heart came, “My name is Yellow Bear”
I don’t always call myself Yellow Bear. But, from that point on, I knew who I was in my heart in my truest moments. And, when I knew who I was, I could start finding out my true purpose.